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“but being abused made you so kind!” being abused made me terrified of being anything less than perfectly accommodating and pleasing in an effort to protect myself from the violence my abuser reacted with but okay whatever


This reminds me of that Van Gogh post: “but people still deserve not to be abused, Karen, even if it made them more likable to you personally, Karen”

And, when people begin to learn how to assert themselves, they get shot down as being obtuse, selfish, or inconsiderate because the people surrounding them only ever wanted them to be small, afraid, and timid. So, the people surrounding them refuse to allow them to grow and instead make them feel ashamed for learning/developing.

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